Break-in! (or, Criminals are Dumb!)
While taking a load of junk out to the car this morning, I discovered that someone had attempted to break in to my garage last night. I say "attempted", because thanks to the queen mother of all deadbolts (more on this later) I had installed after the last break-in a few years ago, all the perp managed was to screw up the bolt, without even getting into the garage.
Had they gotten into the garage, they would have found two locked cars, a couple of bicycles (chained to the rafters, natch), and some gardening tools. Who keeps anything valuable in their garage in the winter? Criminals are dumb.
Of course, this left me stuck. How was I supposed to get into the garage now? In hindsight, I need a way to open the big garage door without being in the garage, like a spare remote or a keypad. I reluctantly went into the basement to find my sweet, sweet crowbar and see if I could somehow get the side door open. I gently hefted the bar and wondered what it would be like to use it to bludgeon the bastard who broke into my garage. Briefly reflected that this may be a bit of an overreaction, considering nothing was stolen. Fantasized about using it to smash the perp's headlights. Renounce materialism! I will assist you with the crowbar of enlightenment!
Prying with my crowbar in the same position, while pushing with my shoulder, I had the door open in about 15 seconds. So much for the queen mother of all deadbolts. Criminals are dumb.
Had they gotten into the garage, they would have found two locked cars, a couple of bicycles (chained to the rafters, natch), and some gardening tools. Who keeps anything valuable in their garage in the winter? Criminals are dumb.
Of course, this left me stuck. How was I supposed to get into the garage now? In hindsight, I need a way to open the big garage door without being in the garage, like a spare remote or a keypad. I reluctantly went into the basement to find my sweet, sweet crowbar and see if I could somehow get the side door open. I gently hefted the bar and wondered what it would be like to use it to bludgeon the bastard who broke into my garage. Briefly reflected that this may be a bit of an overreaction, considering nothing was stolen. Fantasized about using it to smash the perp's headlights. Renounce materialism! I will assist you with the crowbar of enlightenment!
Prying with my crowbar in the same position, while pushing with my shoulder, I had the door open in about 15 seconds. So much for the queen mother of all deadbolts. Criminals are dumb.
Comments